Confidence: Self-Esteem, Public Speaking, Decision Making

Confidence: Self-Esteem, Public Speaking, Decision Making

Confidence 

Low self-esteem and self-confidence are related yet different issues. Self-esteem tends to remain constant, and it’s a measure of our feelings of self-worth and self-love. If you have low self-esteem, you feel negative about yourself, whether swimming, speaking in public, or doing anything else.

On the other hand, self-confidence is our inner judgement about our abilities or our qualities. For example, someone can be a confident swimmer or public speaker. Self-confidence can change based on the situation. That confident swimmer can get very nervous if being watched by thousands of people.

Self-esteem reflects how we think about ourselves – the ways we behave, look and think. Whilst self-confidence shows the belief in ourselves to complete tasks. The relation between these two is that with low self-esteem, low self-confidence can manifest. 

The ability to believe that the tasks you complete – whether in the workplace or a personal relationship – are to a high standard shows high self-confidence. This isn’t being arrogant, just simply believing you can. 

Low self-confidence can affect many aspects of your life. Your inability to believe in yourself can be detrimental to your performance in the workplace. The tasks you complete can be sub-par as you already expect that level of work from yourself. With a higher self-confidence, quality of performance increases, and self-esteem increases as you begin to see that you can!

Our brain is wired in the way that we are more responsive and receptive to negative messages. Therefore, when we hear feedback from our family, friends, and the media, our subconscious is more likely to store negative messages than positive ones. Our past experiences form both self-esteem and self-confidence, so negative comments and traumatic experiences can significantly impact how we feel about ourselves. 

Public Speaking (performance)

Lacking confidence in public speaking is normally tied to your fear of being judged or feeling that you are not good enough. With higher confidence, your focus shifts away from whether the audience likes you and moves towards building rapport and relating to your audience from the moment you start speaking. 

Dating 

People with low self-esteem often sabotage their own relationships. Subconsciously, they think that they are not good enough or inadequate. When you are confident in yourself and your ability to attract the right partner for you, dating can be a pleasant and exciting experience. 

Decision making

A lack of self-confidence can damage your decision-making abilities. Low self-confidence may have a number of consequences. You may prefer to do nothing because you are afraid of making a wrong decision. You might play safe and stay within your comfort zone, which can set limitations on the decisions you make. The other downside of low self-confidence is that you may defer responsibility for making decisions to others. And even after you made a decision, you may worry that you made the wrong one. 

Clear boundaries

Having clear boundaries makes it more likely that you will meet your needs and have the independence and resourcefulness to explore your full potential and quality of relationships with others. Those boundaries tell others that you respect yourself and that they must do so too. Unfortunately, for people with low self-esteem, it is very hard to have secure boundaries. 

Hypnotherapy

Hypnotherapy can help you improve self-confidence and self-esteem. By accessing your subconscious mind, a hypnotherapist will be able to discover what may have caused you to develop low self-confidence. By removing erroneous beliefs and limiting programs, your hypnotherapist will help you start taking control of how you feel about yourself. 

Your thoughts about yourself are affected by your biggest critic, your inner voice. But it is possible to overcome these negative thoughts and re-teach your mind to see yourself in a more positive light. As well as being able to help improve your overall confidence, hypnosis can help improve your confidence and self-belief around specific areas, such as in work or relationships, or boost your confidence around a particular goal such as taking a driving test or giving a presentation.

Therapists who solve this problem

Katerina Furman

Master of hypnosis and hypnotherapist of NGH, member of the most respected professional organizations in the United States and Great Britain, author and speaker of various psychological and professional publications and projects.​

Valerie Robins

An advanced hypnotherapist, certified by the NGH, NCFE and CMA, as well as a member of the ACCPH and IAHP

Reviews

Karina, Russia

As Katerina once said to me, all changes come so smoothly and naturally that you can’t help thinking it was all by itself. And you simply can’t be your old self. Just a few sessions, but they have changed so much in me.

I was a bit uneasy at the start, I didn’t know what the process would entail, and I was afraid to find something ugly inside of me. 

The first session has had that “wow” effect on me — it was a deep dive into the process and I was rewarded with such powerful insights! 

And then it just kept on giving. Some insights were more powerful than others, sometimes I bumped into an internal wall of resistance, which made things even more thrilling and exciting.

And the results… Well, in the process of therapy Katerina and I have modified my initial goals. The very act of talking through the goals and answering some basic questions I had never asked myself previously helped me realise that some of the goals weren’t mine, and I didn’t really want them. 

I think I’ve achieved my goals. It may seem very trivial to someone that I started putting myself first, I became a lot more confident and now I can express my thoughts and feelings to others openly, but these are the things I simply didn’t have previously. 

Katerina helped me find myself, realise that everything is in my hands, helped me believe that I’m strong and determined, and I can have my own full life!

Anna, Spain

Before having her treatment with Katerina my daughter was extremely nervous before any public speaking events. She would have stopped sleeping days before and would have turned into a 'naked nerve'...

Now I can see that she's cool as cucumber! She's not any more nervous than any person would be, or even less! She's become very confident and self-accepting which is the most important thing for me as a mother.

Marina, UK

I worked with Valerie on the issue of confidence. What a lovely person and therapist!

The first few sessions were really tough - I literally wept - and Valerie “held my hand” throughout. With kindness and insight, she guided me through and asked important questions. She does not stop and digs deep until the reason for the issue is discovered, then she analyses the information. A few amazing discoveries were made, and we had a good laugh along the way.

My impression is that Valerie is extremely diligent, intelligent and treats my mind with respect. A few major bugs are now fixed, and I’m looking forward to a new chapter of my life!

Irina, Russia

I always had a huge problem – I could never make a decision. I was always afraid to make the wrong choice and then regret it. Therefore, I have always relied on the advice of friends and relatives. My self-doubt was just off the scale!

 When I came to Valerie for hypnotherapy, I did not expect such an in-depth work on my problems. She was not satisfied with superficial answers, she went deeper and deeper! After her sessions, my relationship with myself, with others and the world completely changed. The victim's state was gone, and I became very confident in myself.

 I started making decisions after the very first session (even though Valerie asked me to wait until the end of therapy), and I am delighted with this new feeling. Now I feel an inner core that I have never had, and this is an indescribable feeling. I highly recommend anyone who has a problem of confidence to go to the session with Valerie. It really works!

Dave, USA

I have worked with Valerie and found her to be a very compassionate, caring and skilled hypnotist.  Her personality is warm and open, and I felt like I could trust her easily.  I loved each session with her, and found them all to be truly inspiring, insightful and more powerful than the last.  Through our work together, I was able to achieve some remarkable changes that have left me feeling much more confident about myself and the ability to continue making the changes that I really needed to make.  The entire process was amazing, and I would highly recommend working with her!

Irina, Sweden

I’m so happy I’ve had an opportunity to work with Katerina, as my issue has been completely resolved!

I had issues around feeling confident at work, I had an “impostor syndrome”. And as a result of our therapy I’ve become so confident in my personal success, I’ve gained total confidence about my professional future. I’ve also stopped feeling I didn’t deserve any luck - something that used to blame myself for! Now I know I deserve all the luck in the world.

The most amazing thing is that the resource that I’ve been looking for has always been inside of me. It’s just that now it has come out and is working for me. Thank you ever so much Katerina!  

Anna, Russia

I’ve started my therapy being so very confused about myself - I had many feelings and traits that I thought were “the real me”. It was very comfortable to justify my avoidance strategies by saying that I’m just an introvert: I love solitude but not publicity, I’m shy around people including myself… But there was that quiet voice inside of me saying, “Give me a break! You do love companies of friends, you enjoy being around them, you love public speaking, you enjoy receiving compliments and being the centre of attention, you are very talented and are true star in your imagination!”

And it has come home. I’ve realised that I need to untangle the muddle and find out who the real me was. What was standing in the way of becoming the person I wanted to be and living the life I wanted to live? I was fed up with hiding away from myself.

After the first session I realised that hypnotherapy suited me very well. I am such a visual person, and the way of looking for the true Self and analysing myself through visual images was a 100% match for me. All four sessions were very exciting, as well as effective and at times quite emotional.

But despite some emotional moments and discoveries, every session brought an incredible feeling that I just made another step towards meeting myself. I have broken free from the cocoon and started breathing so freely. 

The tipping point was reached at the third session. Right after it an event happened that stress-tested all the transformations that I had been going through during therapy. Words cannot say how empowered I was feeling when I realised that I was dealing with the situation in a way that I had never thought was even possible! 

I was an incredible feeling — to meet my real Self and break her free. It feels amazing to be me now :)))))

Varvara, Russia

The law of attraction stipulates that in order to get something in your life you need to imagine it has already happened. And imagine your feelings in the moment when you realise that the desired moment has come. 

And you choose the right day, send your wish into the universe, high quality wording, you know, all written down… And 10 years later you walk down the street, and then — boom! You realise it’s there! You dream has come true!

Why am I talking about all that? Well, in our work with Katerina this happens to me every bloody week! “Hi Varvara, what has worked for you this week?” Oh my God, exactly that: food has now become just food, to fuel my energy and for taste pleasure, not more not less! How was I feeling? Well, I was feeling amazing, I felt beautiful and sassy, well hang on a minute it’s exactly what I was asking for when we started?!

And it’s not your forced affirmation “I am the best and most beautiful woman”, it all comes from within. And it’s the form that catches up with the essence, and that essence is already inside of me, it is real. So I can’t resist it, I can’t build up walls and hide from those new positive beliefs — they are there, already tried and tested and I can only observe the changes that stem from them.

Hypnotherapy is not “stand up and walk” like Jesus said, but at a certain moment you just realise that you’re walking. And it feels so good! 

And it takes, well, a month to get there. Not YEARS :)

Dina, UK

I did seek Katerina’s help when I hit a road block in my personal progress and was feeling stressed, unconfident and in limbo.

Katerina helped me to break through from my fears and get my mojo back.

It turns out that hypnosis is a very interesting method of self-discovery. You can learn all things weird and wonderful that have been sitting in your subconscious mind and you had no clue about. 

Anna, Italy

Katerina, thank you ever so much for your help and your professionalism. By the time I came to work with you my skin issue had seemed totally unresolvable. I had been grim, lost joy of life, had been feeling confused and not accepting myself. 

After our work everything has miraculously changed.

It took quite some effort to fix the broken connection between me and my feelings. I’m still working at it, but now I know that my feelings do exist, they are varied and it’s great. I can finally live in peace with myself.

Everything that I now understand I owe to our work. Hypnosis does work! But it’s not just a click of fingers and the person changes.

Katerina and I have worked with some basic things, like confidence, self-love, personal boundaries, physical touch in my family and many other things. I managed to significantly improve the quality of my life in just a few sessions.

Now I understand myself much better, I’m really confident in myself and I express my thoughts and feelings much easier, and I have such a great contact with myself and my kids, too. And as a result, my skin looks so much better now.

All the changes happen very gradually and almost hard to notice. But there comes a moment when you realise that your problem is simply gone. 

Now I feel a lot happier and freer. My life has changed. I live here and now.

Thank you ever so much Katerina.

Nadejda, Germany

Katerina, i thank you personally and thank my fortune that made us meet. My psychological state changed completely and remembering the past does not cause pain, grief or pity anymore. My fears are gone. I stopped worrying about uncertainty of my current position. I feel much more at ease. You noticed clearly my fears and grievances (they were aplenty) and defined the most "bitter" ones which we had to start with. Your sessions feel very professional and you love your job - this sparks confidence and peace of mind. Subconsiously, I felt there is a friend nearby who tries to guide you to heal and relax, and it works. Katerina, you are like a good fairy: you teach whoever could not resolve their fears or pain from losses, etc, etc, by themselves how to leave the negative behind, clear their brain and feel reborn like a Phoenix. To LIVE again and not simply exist, to BE and not only appear, to LOVE and TRUST. 

I THANK YOU FROM MY VERY HEART 💓

Yanina, London

Life-changing experience! Katerina helps transformation from within: old blockages and beliefs go and you return to your true self. 

We worked on self-acceptance, traumas and shame to remove negative and self-blame that accumulated over many years. I feel reborn, I met myself again, gained new internal strength and started loving myself. All that after 6 sessions! 

I'm now much more tolerant of myself, not shy to stick out, not dependant on others opinion or bound by phobias or concerns about making a fool of myself. At last I'm ready to realise my plans and dreams and move forward, the invisible barriers have disappeared. 

Of course there still happen nasty surprises, life is life, but i'm now ready to take them on. I now have me, so i can do anything! My gratefulness to Katerina has no limits!

Sarah, Birmingham

Katerina, than you for your work!  

Changes started during the sessions: I became more self-confident and starter arguing my points calmly and confidently (whereas before I used to cry and withdraw). After just three weeks my world has changed: my relationship with children are perfectly fine and I learnt to define my personal borders to my husband. I'm not trying to be nice to everyone all the time. I love myself first of all. I changed many "have-to's" to "want-to". I listed my personal objectives for the next three months and I'm confidently working to make them happen. I feel that I'm flying high, boosted with happiness because I can and because I know that I'm managing. Many things became clear and I know 100% where and why I'm going!  

And there is more to follow…

Svetlana, Manchester

Dear Katerina,

From the bottom of my heart thank you for the sessions we had during the last summer. Ever since i've been listening to my feelings and i now realised how powerful a boost you gave to my internal changes. You knocked through the concrete structure of my fears, worries and uncertainties. Instead came inspiration, openness and curiosity. I learnt again how to trust myself. My life is changing in the way i've been long dreaming about. 

An unexpected cherry on top was a resolution of my relationships with my mum, a long-standing internal conflict that was resolved in a single session in the most surprising and ecological way for me.. 

Thank you, Svetlana

Lena, Thailand

Our sessions have turned my life around completely, but I have a feeling it’s just a beginning!

First, Ian and I are finally together and are truly happy. I am a happy person now. Of course, there are days when we argue but you’ve taught me the core skill, to accept my part in it and to not push the blame where it doesn’t belong.

There is also huge progress at work. Ian & I both managed to get jobs in China as we wanted, with my salary being previously un-imaginable, great flexible working schedule and a great team, too.
I’m a confident line manager of 11 people  now and I easily manage them, being demanding when needed and seeing my team as great resource rather than competition.
I even managed to let go of one employee who wasn’t the best fit to the role, and it’s a revolutionary change for me. Previously I couldn’t even express my opinion let alone set boundaries and stick to my guns. Turns out it feels great to only focus on nice people and not waste your energy on less nice ones!

It will male me happy if my story helps other people find you and convince them of using your services. Everyone should be aware of this method!
I’ll never forget how a psychologist told me after our first session that I would need 3 to 4 years of regular sessions to see some changes! Initially I couldn’t believe that just a few sessions would make an impact, I was totally convinced I was a hopeless case. But I’m so glad I used this chance!

Thank you ever so much Katerina!